As a woman of few words, it's taken me a while to get to 5,000, but here goes:
THE PILOTS...
The entrance opens. Two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. It begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water; panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
________
And another:
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors
down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by
a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.
"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled.
Whereupon the old lady answers, "We just LOVE the
chocolate around them!"
Topic Closed
s now?
