A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the farm a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
Texas farmer visting Maine asks a local Maine farmer how big his spread is. "Ayup, well, do you see that stone wall?..it goes down to theya, then back up this-a way to that big Pine tree, then back this-a-way to the dirt road...Ayup...that's all my farm."
"Shoot, boy. I got me a ranch in Texas so big it takes me ALL morning jest to drive 'round it in my pick up!"
Mainer says, "Ayup, I've got a truck like that, too!"
Posts: 460 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: 12 September 2006
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Saint_Bambi: A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
I was recently in Northern England in a little out of the way town called Hornby - the local community center had a comedian one night. I was the only American out of 200 people, I'd say and he told a joke that gave me some incite into how Americans are perceived - it was all in good fun, mind you ...and funny I thought.
A limo driver picks up an American Real Estate developer at the Blackpool airport at around noon. The mogul is in town to investigate how to make Blackpool into England's version of Las Vegas and he's all business.
When he hops in the limo, he immediately says to the driver, "First things first, we're gonna have to expand this airport to about three times it's size, with ample parking a new super highway in and out!"
"Well...yes sir," mumbles the driver.
"I'd just bring some boys over from the States and we'd have it done in 6-8 months, 'cause we work hard and we work fast!"
"Certainly sir," says the driver.
As they approach town, the mogul notices how small the hotels are and explains,"Gotta have bigger hotels, in this town, too! I figure upgrading and expanding hotels, parks, pools and golf courses will take 12-18 months and a couple hundred million US, but we'll get it done 'cause in America we know how to work hard and how to work fast!"
"You don't say," says the driver.
They move on, the mogul eyes Blackpool Tower and says to the driver, "What's that structure there and what's it used for?"
The driver says, "I don't know sir...it wasn't here this morning."
Posts: 460 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: 12 September 2006
Good joke Jeff!!!and it does have a kernel of truth in it, plans are afoot to reinvent Blackpool into the gaming capital of the country, along the lines of LV. As you may suppose, arguments for and against the idea are raging between the factions involved. Not sure how it will pan out but Blackpool does need a facelift (or maybe an extreme makeover!!) but maybe this is not the way to go?
Posts: 1222 | Location: UK | Registered: 12 June 2005
Originally posted by Giulia da Urbino: unluckily we have no kangaroos here in Italy!!!!
Well, they would live in Italy quite happily. Some Zoo escapees have been living in the UK midlands for decades.
Bambi,
Jude was an AFS exchange student for a year in PA. It was always appreciated that she said that she came from Queensland, which is four times the size of Texas.
John "There are two types of problems: those that solve themselves, and those which you can do nothing about" Isabel Allende's grandmother
Posts: 1471 | Location: Mullumbimby, NSW, Australia | Registered: 26 March 2003
Originally posted by poet123: Good joke Jeff!!!and it does have a kernel of truth in it, plans are afoot to reinvent Blackpool into the gaming capital of the country, along the lines of LV. As you may suppose, arguments for and against the idea are raging between the factions involved. Not sure how it will pan out but Blackpool does need a facelift (or maybe an extreme makeover!!) but maybe this is not the way to go?
Actually, having only been a visitor to the area, my cursory view of Blackpool is that it had the look and fell of a town caught in the 50's, in America - sort of preserved in a Time Capsule. It reminded me of various places here in the Eastern States from that era; like Atlantic City, Coney Island, Niagara Falls and many other smaller less well known places. All with inexpensive and tacky rooming houses-dormitories, greasy food, salt water taffy, a "midway" with lots of kiddie games/rides, a theatre with worn out or down-on-their-luck second rate acts and one center of attraction. I'd go for the facelift, only, just to preserve the nostalgia. Blackpool has good bones!
Posts: 460 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: 12 September 2006
I guess it is a case of the old saying "familiarity breeds contempt!". It is interesting to hear the view of an overseas visitor, who comes to it without the element of class prejudice that we Brits inherently have!! I would rather stay at home and clean the bathrooms than spend time in Blackpool...even though I have a very good friend who has lived there all her life. It is not the residents of the town(although the shops and bars pander to the seamier side of human nature) who make it tacky, rather the visiting element who swill copious amounts of beer and behave yobbishly amid the neon jungle.
That said, I am sure there are more salubrious parts of Blackpool....I am just not willing to look for them!!
Posts: 1222 | Location: UK | Registered: 12 June 2005
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