I didn't tell a joke after 100 and I can't think of any so I will tell something I did.
When I visit other countries, I like to say as much in the language as possible. I tell people if I only know one word in a language I will use that word. The first time I went to Italy I learned a few things to say. I learned to ask for tap water -- acqua del rubinetto. I also learned to ask for the toilet. You should have seen the waiter when I ordered acqua del gabinetto.

I just love these confusions.

In Australia to order cafe latte we just ask for latte.

So on our first day in Rome in 2001 we were served - two glasses of milk - for due latte.

And when I was growing up I was perturbed that shops sold toilette (pronounced toilet) water.

One time in Roma I was asking for some watermelon at one of the street stands. Despite large piles of the cool red fruit, the operator of the stand kept on insisting that they didn't ahve any and looked at me like I was crazy. And I kept on asking for it... Anguilla! Which is, of course, eel! I should have been asking for Anguria. Thankfully a well dressed gentleman who spoke perfect English finally stepped in and explained my mistake!

Palma said I had to do a joke for my 500th post so here goes:

Talking Italian

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

''EmMa come first. I come. DenniS come and DenniS come again. I come again. Two aSSes, they come together again. I come again and Pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

I thought it was cute and funny.

Ida