I missed celebrating my 100th post, but here's a little ditty that's always timely, and maybe not just in English. Hope you like it



WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We need = I want.

I am sorry = you'll be sorry

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like



MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

I love you = Let's have sex now

I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you.

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Printing this one out.

Ginger

MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry = Your food is not up to my mother's cuisine

I'm sleepy = I will not bother to take off my shoes before launching myself on the bed.

I'm tired = I worked for FIVE MINUTES and now I feel totally exhausted, could you please do anything else for the next week while I recover?

Nice dress = I could not see the difference between a curtain ripped off the window and a dress, but women are supposed to find nice these kind of things (usually said when you are wearing your oldest curtains).

I love you = I need someone to cook my lunch

I am bored = I am bored

What's wrong? = I guess I should have listened, but there was the soccer/football on TV

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

Let's talk = Unheard of

Will you marry me? = I suppose she would like to be stuck with a jerk like me

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Alice - I loved your Men's English additions, especially the "I'm tired" one

teaberry --

If this was your belated 100th, I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to your 500th! Should be a ripper!

Earline