This is my 850th post
40 THINGS YOU SHOULD'VE LEARNT BY NOW
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do
it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a
glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that
life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other
parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal
with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw
away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted
on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
recognise a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the
ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.
25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why
the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve,
its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views
with you almost never want you to share yours with
them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up
and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is
gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks
back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless
you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that
moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status
or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we
ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember
that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.
40. Orsm is the best.
Slow Travel Talk 
