Well, I’m not one to break tradition, so here goes:

"Will I Live to Be 100?"

A middle aged man recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and those exhaustive lab tests, the Doctor told the man that he was doing "fairly well for his age". A little disturbed by that comment, the man couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 100?"

The Doctor asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco, use illegal drugs, or drink beer, wine, or whiskey?" "Oh no," the man replied. "I don't do any of those things."

Then the Doctor asked the man, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks or barbecued ribs?" The man said, "No, my previous Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!" "Well, do you spend a lot of time in the sun -- like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" "No, the man replied! The Doctor asked, "Do you gamble, travel to exotic places, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," the man replied. "None of that."

The Doctor looked the man squarely in the eye and said, "Then why do you give a %*&#%, if you live to be 100?"

******************
"Bad Guy"

A man appeared before St Peter at the Pearly Gates:

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, upon a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily
tattooed biker and smacked him on the head,
kicked his bike over, ripped out his
nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."

Two very good additions! Thanks for the laughs.

Congratulations on your new Slow Traveler title!

Hi Colleen:

I was surprised how hard it was to find a decent joke that I could post for public viewing. So now the pressure is off and I have 499 posts until my next one.

Thanks
Kathy
Slow Travelor