Hi Everyone. I just joined up after being referred here by a kind acquaintance. I am recently widowed but still in my 40s. I am a bit leery of travelling on my own only because I loathe the thought of eating alone in restaurants night after night. This looks like the perfect place to find different accommodations. I look forward to reading all your posts! Thanks!
Ella
Posts: 2 | Location: Toronto | Registered: 29 July 2007
Wow, I get to say "Hi Ya" to another person today! One of our Maritime reps here - from New Brunswick and joined here a year and a half ago because, while I had travelled alot - I had NEVER been to Italy
Really absorb the knowledge and experience here and the friendliness. I learned so much so that when we went (3 couples), it was like (in a small way...) I had already been there because I knew alot of what to expect and how things worked generally. There is really no limit on how much information you can take in here - ENJOY!
I am sorry for your young widowhood - I cannot imagine the changes that you are facing in your life. I can only hope that opening yourself up to travelling will give your mind alot of good healing exercise and the actual travelling itself...meeting wonderful people, seeing incredible new vistas will help heal your heart somewhat too...bon voyage.
I travel to Italy a lot for business and I do it solo 90% of the time. Last time I was in Italy I spent 5 weeks away from Milan (my base where my family lives) and ate by myself approx. 30 times. It felt strange the first time then I started talking to the waiters and restaurant owners - I said to myself why not? -. Well, most of time I had a great time, and met other women that were traveling for business and were alone like me. At my "solo dinners" I learned more about wine, cooking, Italian politics and truly enjoyed myself. I have to say that I speak Italian so that might have helped but Italians are so friendly to foreigners and always trying to make them feel comfortable...
I am truly sorry for your loss, I hope that an Italian experience can help healing. Welcome again to this friendly community.
I am sorry to hear that you are on your own now, but know that learning to journey out into the world on your own will mean you get to meet incredible people and savor life in a new and exciting way.
I suggest you grab a book or magazine you like, a journal to write in, and pop out to a restaurant alone you have been wanting to try. Get a feel for being in your own space and enjoying your own company. All good things in time.
There is life out there to be lived and strangers are merely friends we've yet to meet. I always feel we best honor those we have loved and lost by living life without reservation and with a burning desire to fill ourselves with wondrous experiences that can carry us forward. Always forward...
Welcome to the board - it is so nice to have another Toronto person! LOL You will find that people are extremely friendly here; always willing to assist where needed.
Jerry
The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see. ~G.K. Chesterton
Welcome to Slowtrav, Ella! Firt, let me say that I'm so sorry about your becoming a widow at a very young age....that's such a shock and a sad thing, very tough to deal with, I know. It's a long road back from that, but you are already well on your way, by posting here and sharing this with us. I can vouch for the amazingly generous, kind-hearted and well-travelled crowd that hangs out on this site. You'll find tons of support and even more great advice and information about planning your trips!
I understand about the hesitation to eat alone in a cafe or restaurant...I also had that little 'I don't wanna' about the very same thing!
I started out by eating lunch, first of all. There's something not quite so lonely about eating out during the day, as there are loads of others doing the same thing!
Then, I bumped myself up a notch, went to a small restaurant for an early dinner, took a book, a magazine, my journal, a pen...I came well-armed! Didn't want anyone to notice that I was...gasp...by myself.
Guess what? The only person who cared about that was me. No one else made any fuss at all. The waiter asked, "Table for 1?" and I gulped, swallowed hard and muttered, "Yes, please..."
From there, I learned to go out and have a meal on my own quite often when I travel. Does it feel weird? Sometimes it does. But, a girl's gotta eat, and I like to eat out occasionally, so the choice is simple. Do it or eat a salad and sandwich in my apartment.
I took my first trip to Italy and France only a couple of years ago, and there were some moments that were less than stellar! But, I did it, I survived and I went back again the very next year. I also plan to go often in the future, as it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I have met and made friends with some of the best people from Slowtrav this way.
So, stick around and read the threads and archives, post your questions and apprehensions and know that you'll be in good hands here, Ella.
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." ~ Henri Nouwen Brenda
We are looking forward to your participation in our discussions and from time to time we get together to keep up with our tales. As Jerry says, the more Torontonians the better.
Hi Ella...welcome! I travel solo all the time for work, and eating out alone can be intimidating, but I find that as long as I have a book, I'm fine! I'll be doing my first solo trip to Europe in February, and have to keep reminding myself of the good part of solo travel (see what I want to see, when I want to see it rather than having to "gasp" compromise!)
Use the trip calendar to find out when other ST will be where you are..plan to meet up for dinner. I've met some great people that way!
Anne
Posts: 159 | Location: Louisiana | Registered: 01 May 2005
Hi Ella! I know what you mean about eating out. I'm a forty something solo traveler myself. After a while you don't mind it at all. I won' let being solo keep me from anything I want to do, and after I've done it I really feel a sense of accomplishment.
Posts: 257 | Location: Mississippi | Registered: 31 October 2004
Wow, thank you so much for the kind, warm welcome. Sorry I didn't get back here all week. I am having a fine time reading reading reading and plotting and planning... now the problem isn't so much doing things on my own but WHAT TO DO FIRST!!
Again, thanks so much for making me feel so welcome.
Ella
Posts: 2 | Location: Toronto | Registered: 29 July 2007
Welcome, Ella! You have already gotten lots of great advice and I am sure you will enjoy Slow Trav. I have done quite a bit of traveling alone and usually love it. Sometimes when I travel with others they tease me because I am always so eager to talk to other people when traveling! Some of my best travel memories are from meetng people randomly along the way.
I think Brenda´s advice on eating alone is great, start with lunch, as there are always lots of people eating lunch alone. Then dinner will feel easier, too.
I travelled alone (but as part of a group) last year, and have travelled a bit on my own previously.
I find it less of a concern so long as I have some reading material. Any restaurant or cafe becomes a nice spot to browse travel plans, drink lovely coffee and people watch. I find I can pass time, rest the legs and gain my bearings with a magazine, book or newspaper. I think its quite acceptable and it makes me feel comfortable.
HTH
Posts: 39 | Location: Perth, Western Australia | Registered: 09 August 2007
Welcome Ella, to this wonderful world of SlowTrav. We truly are a community and everyone is always so supportive. I look forward to reading your entries and "talking" with you. Wendy
Posts: 2904 | Location: Monterey Peninsula, California, USA | Registered: 07 September 2003
I think Brenda´s advice on eating alone is great, start with lunch, as there are always lots of people eating lunch alone. Then dinner will feel easier, too
That's what I discovered, Chiocciola! Lunch was easy, lots of people eating, lots of people eating alone, people coming and going in the cafes...I felt like I was not so obviously a-l-o-n-e, although why in the world that should matter, I do not know!
Dinner seemed a lot more difficult for me...mainly because there are so many more couples, and I think it amplified my alone-ness by a thousandfold to be surrounded by people in groups of 2 or more. Now, after years of becoming comfortable with eating on my own, it doesn't carry the same sting as it did in the beginning. I still get the odd server who asks, quite innocently, "Oh, you're eating alone?" or "Will there be anyone joining you?" and my favorite..."Just for one?" On a good day, my response is, "Yes, aren't I lucky?"
I travel for work, so I had some experience with eating on my own, but when it became a full-time thing, it was quite a different story, so I empathize...people who haven't struggled with it, don't understand how it feels, I think. It is a strange sense of discomfort that one feels when walking into a cafe or restaurant and sitting down, ordering your meal and spending a half hour or more with your own company. Today, it's mostly easy, but there are times when it still makes me a little squirmish!
Here's 2 for the price of 1 today, just because... “And she finally stopped playing their song, when she realized she was dancing alone.” ~ Unknown “It is far better to be alone than to wish you were." ~ Ann Landers Brenda
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