Our friends are taking their 20 year old daughter with them to London, Paris, Marseille then Italy for three weeks all up. Any suggestions for keeping their daughter sane and happy in Paris (or any of the other destinations)without being overbearing?
They could try to remember how they were and how they saw the world at 20...
They could try to remember how did see their own parents at 20....
They should not try to behave as if they are 20...
They could let the 20 be 20...
On a practical level, they could let her plan her own "to do" things, and separate sometimes, parents and daughter, to different places and activities.
There is a website called meetup, you can google it. There are lots of "meet ups" in Paris that you might want to check out. It is not a dating website but a place to meet people of special interest groups from computer programming to speaking foregin languages, etc.
There are also several outdoor pools and Paris-plage along the seine. There are also lots of rock and pop concerts in Pais, I don't know here interests, but you would want to get tickets in advance.
I was 17 when I first visited Paris. I do not understand at all why one would imagine it takes an effort to be sane and happy in Paris at that age. I was smitten right away and have remained so. I remembering loving the Seine, the Orangerie museum, the sidewalk cafés, eating in "real" bistros, concerts in a church, the Palais Royal arcades, the markets. I loved walking and walking. In short I loved everything. To this day I never feel indifferent whenever I cross the Seine.
They won't need to do anything special. She's old enough to enjoy adult activities and to advocate for herself if she gets sick of her parents and wants to do her own thing. I've travelled in Europe with my 18 y.o. niece and it was no different than travelling with a 30 something girlfriend of mine.
Immediately establish some emergency plans in case of separation. Rally spot, hotel locator card, etc.
Teach her how to navigate via the metro and give her the confidence to venture out alone and find her way back. Just knowing that she can go can be good enough.
Some girls only shopping time is good, dad go sit somewhere for a few hours. Rue Montagne is a good beginning choice. (At those prices it make be a breaking point.)
If she decides to explore a little on her own. Well I would then have to say that you guys have been a success as parents.
Would you consider having your daughter invite a girlfriend? Would it be worth the extra expense to ensure that, if she wants to go somewhere that you don't (or, more to the point, vice-versa) you don't have to be joined at the hip?
A lot depends on the 20 year old and if she actually wants to go. My 20 something likes a lot of the same things that I do and my husband get bored in the museums and ruins.
Here is another suggestion that will probably work, but will bore the husband: SHOPPING! There is nothing like the words "shoe store" to perk up my 20 something. I myself don't care for pretty shoes, but lately I have learned a lot about them. I have been informed that that there is nothing like Italian shoes in the States.
Maybe instead of asking the daughter to bring a friend, maybe the husband should bring a buddy, and some activities could be split along gender lines.
Posts: 3782 | Location: St Paul, MN | Registered: 10 February 2006
The women shoe department at Le Printemps department store is good. Better than the Galeries Lafayette. All the names are there, from Jimmy Choo to Sergio Rossi and the like... plus cheaper ones too!
A shoe store called Moda on rue St Placide near rue de Renne sells luxury shoes discounted, stacked to the ceiling. Had lots of Marc Jacobs the last time I was there.
My very first trip to Paris was with my father and I was 26. Two weeks of heaven, I say. Pure magic.
I'd say treat her like an adult and let her find her own rhythm. Give her room to explore and roam. Paris at 20? She'll be in bliss city! The cafes and shopping alone will woo her...
I think this can be such an eye-opening wonderful experience for both parents and the daughter. Someone mentioned having a back-up separation plan and I think that is really important. Nothing worse than seeing the doors shut on the metro with parties on either side of the closed door, waving goodbye without a meet up plan. Getting her used to taking public transportation by starting out together and then loosening up on the reins once you know she knows how to get around. My eldest daughter and I spent 3 weeks in Paris when she was 15. I think that summer literally opened her eyes to a world with possibilities beyond anything she had previously imagined. That was my intent for the trip and looking at where she is today with her love of travel, I think my plan worked. She wanted to jog (I'm not a jogger but a reader). We'd go to the Tuilleries every morning where there were so many joggers. I'd take a book and plant myself on a bench and felt I was still with her while she was doing her thing. Try to let the daughter be a part of the planning, get her input on what she'd like to see and do. If she's into fashion there use to be a great free fashion show at Galeries Lafayette. Probably if you go online you can find out. Reservations were required at the time but it was a wonderful show. My daughter loved it. As someone else said it's hard not to be happy in Paris at any age. What a gift they are giving their daughter. I hope they all can find a bit of independence in the magic of this City of Lights. Barb Cabot
Posts: 591 | Location: Long Beach, California | Registered: 27 August 2007
