What is the least stupid way, in Italian, to refer to one's "boyfriend" (see I don't know a non-stupid word in English, either) for mature adults (over 50.) I think "ragazzo" sounds really stupid. "Fidanzato" has been suggested to me but that doesn't seem right when no marriage is intended. "Compagno" has also been suggested, but doesn't that imply living together? Thanks.
Originally posted by sundaze: What is the least stupid way, in Italian, to refer to one's "boyfriend" (see I don't know a non-stupid word in English, either) for mature adults (over 50.) I think "ragazzo" sounds really stupid. "Fidanzato" has been suggested to me but that doesn't seem right when no marriage is intended. "Compagno" has also been suggested, but doesn't that imply living together? Thanks.
I know it sound stupid, but that is what we say.
Il mio ragazzo, la mia ragazza.
Because, if you try to word a deeper concept or toexplain better you should say something like:
You gave me a good laugh That is why I say "boyfriend" here, too. People did laugh at me for "il mio ragazzo", though. Maybe young people think after a certain age we should put on our apron and stop thinking about men.
"Fidanzato" may also mean "the person I am dating", modernly it does not imply a prospect marriage. Actually, engagements are not used anymore, except in extremely traditional families: a couple decides to marry or not with no need to tell anyone. So, "il mio ragazzo" is used by extremely young couples, "il mio compagno" usually indicates the partner with whom you live, but may also indicate someone you have been with for very long (several years), "il mio fidanzato" is the person you are in a relationship with, generally speaking and not necessarly with a prospect of marraige.
If they laugh at "il mio ragazzo" you could try saying "il mio uomo"! In this area they use "moroso" and, since it sounds fun to me I tend to use it too.
Yes, it's quite widely used in northern/central eastern Italy as far as I know... and it definitely sounds fun to "non-local" ears... but at least it sounds like you're using it on purpose to be funny!
Why am I conjuring up an image of Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein saying "He vos my.... BOYFRIEND!!!"??
If it were me, I'd go with il mio compagno or partner. I have a long-term compagno (27 years) and in English, this issue has always always always bugged me. When people started commonly using "partner" a few years ago, it seemed like the best solution, albeit not a perfect one - but certainly better than "boyfriend, girlfriend," or worse yet, the dreaded "lover."
Moroso is a word present essentially in all celto-latin dialects of Italy, with some pronounciation differences (in Parma it would be "morôs", in Milano "murus").
And, I love the words "lover" and "amante". literally they mean "he or she who loves me", and I find that wonderful. It's a pity they have collected such a bad connotation over the centuries.
Alice, I am intrigued by the nuances of the words...can you give more details please between the 2 words Fidanzato and Campagno? I understand the basic difference between the two, ( I worked in Mexico...they use "companaro" in a similar way). I am interested in the "not with a prospect of marriage" part of the fidanzato definition. This may be too minor, but I was wondering how the "no marriage prospect" was arrived at??...by age, mutual consent,confirmed bachelor, woman says she'll never marry, etc. Do couples use Fidanzato if they are together and don't plan to marry for whatever reason, and couples use compagno if they might/might not/don't care if they get married? And 1 last question, are the words used interchangably? Thanks for satisfying my curiosity on this. I love learning new words like this!
Posts: 42 | Location: NC | Registered: 17 April 2007
State that actually "Fidanzato" (or "Fidanzata") and "Compagno" (or "Compagna") don't both imply to get married one day, "Compagno" is mostly used to define a person with whom, as Alice said, you're living with.
Teenager, used for years "ragazzo" but now thay're going back to "moroso" (that personally I love)
Adult, use less "Fidanzato". We often say "un mio amico". Then you understand if that "amico" (friend) is just a friend or something more.
By the way pearl597, Alice will define better those nuance your asking to better understand our language.
Originally posted by pearl597: can you give more details please between the 2 words Fidanzato and compagno?
Compagno is the closest translation of partner, it's more commonly used re a partner you live with, but it is also used occasionally to describe a long-standing relationship you don't live with. "Fidanzato" is more commonly used by younger people, but you can still hear it used by people in their 60's, and usually refers to a person one has a relation with but with whom he or she does not live, although this too can vary: some people use the same term to describe the person they live with. On the other hand, unmarried couples often use the words "marito"/"moglie" to describe each other, regardless of whether the union was ever legalized or not.
quote:
I am interested in the "not with a prospect of marriage" part of the fidanzato definition.
Traditionally, the word "fidanzat@" was used to describe the person on was promised to. Yet, this kind of official engagement disappeared sometimes between the 1940's and the 1970's. Then the word "fidanzat@" became used to describe the "significant other" in young couples, but this kind of relationship may or may not lead to a marriage. Now, half of the Italian young couples don't get married, or opt to live toghether for some time before considering marriage. Essentially, most young couples don't get to even thing about marraige until they see it as desirable and economically possible (we have a very low income, especially the younger people, with which I mean people under the age of 40), most commonly after many years of relationship and a few years of living together and only if they have any reason to think of the legal or religious act of marriage as desirable. As a matter of facts, about half of the young couples in Italy get married in church, the others either get married civilly or simply do not get married (notice also that getting a divorce in italy requires 3 years, so many couples opt not to get married not to have to go through divorce when they will split up, or are made of at least one member that is waiting for a divorce). THus, the word "fidanzat@" lots all of its original sense ans it has become to be the exact translation of "significant other".
Thanks Alice and ikol, that clarifies the difference between the 2 words. Both I (age 51) and my 101-yr -old grandmother have been living with Significant Others for 9 yrs...I might/might not get married sometime, but she says she will just "live in sin" this time, so we were curious as to which terms applied to our partners! It has been an interesting and fun lesson to learn the nuances between the terms, and the social conditions that occur. thanks for explaining the details so well to us!!
Posts: 42 | Location: NC | Registered: 17 April 2007
Off topic, but I just wanted to say, Alice, I love your use of the @ to designate the choice of o/a endings! I've never seen it before- is it used often in Italian forums and informal writing or is it your invention?
It's commonly used on the web in Italian, never on paper and other forms of informal writing. It's actually a formal use on the web to remove the gender problem, since all words in Italian must have a gender designation.
Hello, in my dialect fidanzato is both boyfriend and fiancé. I have referred to Marcel as my fidanzato since day 1, although "ragazzo" (boyfriend) would have probably been more suitable. But it sounds so awkward in my own Italian, very standard (whereas I have a strong Tuscan accent). Actually the only other option which would have been acceptable to my "peasant" ear would have been the superlocal "citto" (Guy, but also used for boyfriend). It's common in Siena, Grosseto and maybe Arezzo. In Pisa it is "bimbo", like child.. which in some cases is not so far from the truth!!!
Anyway, then we moved in together, and he was still the fidanzato in Tuscany, outside he was the ragazzo, boyfriend as we were not talking about marriage and "compagno" really sounded communist (it's the way communists use(d) to refer to their fellow party memebers )!
No I am joking, compagno really did not sound like us... too young for that.
Now we are engaged and so he is finally and rightfully the fidanzato. But all of a sudden the meaning seems different! Crazy me.
Anyway, the thing I hated the most was not having a real name to define what my live-in boyfriend was. Thank God, in a few months my life partner will be easier to define...
Topic Closed
That is why I say "boyfriend" here, too. People did laugh at me for "il mio ragazzo", though. Maybe young people think after a certain age we should put on our apron and stop thinking about men.
Crazy me.
