I found this article fascinating--it's nice to know I'm not the only one!

Chris, I so agree. When travelling it's the role of observer that feels best.

Ever noticed that extroverts have no qualms about criticizing introverts, but introverts never question the behavior of extroverts?

Life.

Cheers!
Alecto

Thanks for the link, Chris. Well-written, and it really describes my husband to a tee. I enjoy the interaction with other people when we travel (although it's not something I must seek out), but Stu is just the opposite. He dislikes B&B's for this very reason!

I've shared this link with him.

My partner and I can be a little introverted sometimes, especially in large groups

This is an interesting article and it points out one key requirement if you plan to travel to other regions and countries.

As we have learned you have to be prepared to just say “hello” whenever possible.

Obviously it helps to learn a few key words and phrases in a number of languages, so you can at least attempt to communicate with those around you.

We are always deeply disappointed when we see North American and even UK tourists who have failed to learn some basic words and phases used in the country they are visiting. Then by default they end up taking to and seeking out other North Americans. Before long they are gathered the same cafés and restaurants, etc., talking among themselves and their own interaction is with the waiters and staff that serve them.

You have wonder why they traveled so far and spent some much time and money simply to have the opportunity to talk to somebody that is also from their “neck of the woods”. It might have been easy if they just telephoned that person up and drove over to see them.

Introverted or not, if you are going to travel and if want to fully experience the culture of another country, region or land, you must be prepared to make the effort to communicate in their language.

Remember all we ask from those that we visit is for them to be good host. But they didn’t invite us, so it is our responsibility to communicate to them on their terms.

G

I love this article! I can relate to it completely and I agree with what Giulia mentioned in her post.

"They didn't invite us, so it is our responsibility to communicate to them on their terms."

Mmm, I'm not sure that being introverted and not inclined to start conversations with strangers equates to being too lazy to learn the language of my destination, or rudely seeking out other North Americans.

I don't see this as having anything to do with language.

Thanks, Chris, for the link. Interesting article. One needn't feel like a failure, apparently, if one doesn't make friends in the breakfast room of one's hotel. I would shrink with horror if I had to play games with total strangers at breakfast. (Or even at dinner.)

And I agree with you that it's got little if anything to do with reluctance or even refusal to learn the language of the places one visits.

Well agreeing with Chris again. I make a point of speaking the languages of the places visited with reasonable accuracy. Still doesn't mean I any more want to talk to them than to talk to my own compadres!

Cheers!
Alecto

Great article.

My husband is an introvert. Unfortunately this often is perceived as rudeness.

Then there are introverts who come alive and open up when they travel!
Excuse me for naming names: Take the wonderful travel writer Paul Theroux. One can't accuse him for being the life of the party when he is describing his fellow men when he is at home. But he becomes so brilliantly curious and observant and even compassionate when he travels, in a way one can't picture him being with his neighbors back home.

I much prefer them to extroverts who become introverts - and unsure and destabilized and unhappy - when travelling.

Personally as a traveller I don't seek people out, but I do like to take my foreign languages for a walk, even if it means 20 words in Thai, including the crucial "please no spicy food or I'd die". And I admit I am very curious about people, and this curiosity is such a big part about travelling…
Often my husband and friends joke that they get up to be absent for a minute in a restaurant, only to come back to the table to find a full-fledged party, with people all pantomiming and laughing.
The b&b scene is something else. I suspect some owners are themselves depressed, or not in the social mood, and think they must act congenial every morning. Then other owners seem to have gotten into the b&b business not so much for the money but because they feel too lonely in their retirement. That they are curious about one is not the worst. But they tell you all about their psychic gift, or the generation of cats who had died and were buried in the garden, or their political prejudice. O just shoot me.

My partner and I could be described as introverted even shy some days. Neither of us likes large crowds and there is plenty a day where we would be just comfortable being alone.

That was certainly the case for us when we were younger.

But we as continued to travel to many places throughout the world, we became less introverted. We needed to, simply in order to find places to sleep and eat and get directions to the next town, etc.

By being less introverted I have learned to communicate in French, Spanish, Italian and Germany though by no means - perfectly. My partner who traveled a lot for business in the past quickly learned a bunch a basic words and phrases in order to navigate around the various cities he has visited by himself.

By being less introverted I have reconnected to some distance family members in Switzerland. And we have made friends with a number of people throughout the world.

I guess you can say by travelling we have become a lot less introverted and this has opened up the world around us. And we have got a better and deeper appreciation of the world that other people live in.

We have become more World Citizens that simply tourists traveling the world.

But there is still plenty of time that we would rather be left alone. But we force ourselves to get out and engage with the people around us.

This in my opinion is one the best reasons to travel but I understand that it is not the only reason.

G

Maybe it's a language difference, but I think you and I understand the meaning of the word introvert differently, Giulia. There's an article here that corresponds more to my understanding of the word. I don't believe that it's simply a choice to be less introverted and therefore a "better" traveler.

I'm with Chris.

I can "get by" in 3 1/2 languages right now (hoping it's going to be 4 soon. But I's still rather listen and observe than talk. Whether I'm in Vermont or Venice.

Do what you enjoy. Don't force it if it's not you.

(And that hat B&B is my idea of Hell.)

I disagree that it's an "American's Duty" to run around the Continent interacting with innocent Europeans. If anything, I think there's a perception that Americans do altogether too much interacting, and at too great a volume, convinced that everyone in Italy must want to know how whether we have bridges like that in Ohio. Interact or don't interact, it's up to you, I think.

This reminds me of the time a former very American, but otherwise unremarkable, boyfriend went to pay for something in a shop in London. He walked up to the young woman at the counter and said "Hihowarya."

This supersaturated blast of Americana hit the girl like a wrecking ball. She physically rocked back on her feet, and a noise escaped her, between a bark, a squeak and a laugh, and she blanched, then turned beet red.

"Hi." She managed to respond.

(We of course asked her if she was OK. She wasn't choking or anything.)

So watch out for this interacting thing. It can be tricky.

Chris - I was just going to post the Atlantic article which is very very good.

There was a followup article to the original article posted with tips for introverted travlers. I've taken books with me when I travel alone.

I love that Atlantic article! And the follow-up on introverted travelers. The advice given is something I nearly always follow when traveling on my own.

According to the Myers-Briggs, I'm an ISTJ (introvert).

You just never know if you really want to spend x number of hours talking to the person beside you on an airplane! I avoid chat and eye contact on an airplane and other confined spaces! I ONCE took a cruise -- not for me!

However -- I love to be polite, cheerful and know pleasantries in the language of the country that I'm visiting. I enjoy conversation as long as...

I don't feel trapped with no escape route!

I really enjoyed both these articles. As an introvert, I find I am happiest when in Italy on my own. I enjoy my brief encounters with people (and their pets) but love to wander through museums and churches. without the distraction of a companion.

I think it's sometimes hard for extroverts to understand us. One of my all-time favorite movie scenes is from Shirley Valentine, when Dougie and Janet insist that poor Shirley join them for dinner. I had a similar experience involving a New Years party once. Cringe.

First I want to say I obviously offended Chris, so I apologize for this.

This said I found the first article from the self confessed introvert odd and even offensive.
The writer generalized people on how they behave even though they claim that do not like socializing with different people. How would then they know how people behave or what thry think?

I liked the second article more, since it offered real solutions for people that are introverted but still like to travel.

There is nothing wrong about being a introvert or extrovert.

G

What interesting articles! I have often assumed that introverts don't like solo travel, because it forces more interaction, but from the first article I realize that may not be the case. I based my assumption on the fact that somebody close to me is an introvert and does not like solo travel - he prefers traveling with people he knows so he doesn't have to "make new friends" if he wants to be social.

I am very much an extrovert and love solo travel (as well as travel with others) because I feel it leaves me more open to new experiences and meeting new people. And I had to laugh at the beginning if the first article, where the author and her friend confess that they don't like the meeting new people part. I am one of those annoying people who talk to people on the train and all that. Which makes southern Italy perfect for me, since it seems to be quite normal there.

Thanks for sharing these interesting reads!

This has been an interesting post, making me rethink some things about the last 20+ yrs of travel. Speaking various languages moderately well with the specified linguistic demographic can be fine alone, but embarassing when doing it in front of your friends and family. Don't know why that would be.

Hmmm.

Cheers!
Alecto

Ewww. That sounded so full of myself! Didn't mean it that way at ALL. Hope this shows up as an edit.

Wow.

I find this whole discussion fascinating.

The idea that there would be some feeling that because one preferred one's own company and one's own thoughts to blathering about sports (whether that's "the Cubbies" or Madrid, I don't want to hear about it) or how your flight was with a stranger that one would want to stay home, I find that strange. The same friendly people will talk anyone's ear off. Is that really a breakthrough for international relations?

An anthropologist friend once told me that you should beware the outliers in a group who try to befriend strangers (like anthropologists!). It's not "natural" to be friendly (so I'm told).

There's also an implication that being extroverted is "better". That people who go off by themselves are hurting themselves, or hurting any group they're associated with.

We're not. We're perfectly compfortable with ourselves and our own thoughts and our own silence, even if you're not.

And we're just tired of explaining ourselves. And blathering about how "the Cubbies" are doing.

Guilia, if you've offended anyone (hopefully not!), it's probably by falling into the trap (almost certainly without meaning to) that Alecto referred to at the beginning of the thread - assuming that introverts should really want to be extroverted. Your comment about becoming less introverted by learning some of the language seems to suggest this. I think it's a common reaction to introverts in our society, perhaps even to the point that we introverts believe it on some level too.

For many of us (apparently - what a great thing to learn how many others feel the way I do!), that's not the point. I do speak a bit of several languages and I can get by in basic conversations, but I still prefer to keep largely to myself when I'm traveling independently. My wife either feels the same way or has learned to deal with it, so that the two of us have traveled to some great places - and lived in a few - without having to immerse ourselves in close contact with others. It doesn't diminish my enjoyment of travel, but interacting with the locals isn't the reason I travel. As has been said many times here on ST, there are many reasons to travel and none of them are wrong!

Piping in fairly late to the game, I felt compelled to throw my own few pennies into the mix. I am surprised at the little tension that the subject seemed to raise but...I agree, I think it is a misunderstood concept with different understandings of definitions abounding. I have always been outgoing - I speak in public alot - I like people and I love intimate discussions with people. However, about ten years ago, I discovered that I was, in fact, an introvert! In speaking to a therapist-type friend of mine, she explained that (very simply put...) an extrovert is a person who gets their energy charged by their interaction with other people and an introvert is someone who gets recharged by being alone.

It doesn't mean either of us are unhappy or incapable of either spending alone or in groups of people. It just means, that at a certain time, we crave either other people or we crave our own company.

While I look very comfortable interacting and noone would ever think I am shy, I can only deal with people so much and I need to withdraw.

So there is plenty of room in this big world for all types! However, once you realize which you are it can help you understand a bit more of yourself. I was doing some training with a Canadian Youth Program - Katimavik where youth from around Canada join a team of other youth and spend 9 months living together and working in 3 different locations in Canada - to experience a broader range of Canadian culture and life. In my training I spoke about introverts and extroverts because in Katimavik, you are together, with people, either working at your placement or with the rest of the team, ALL of the time. Going off alone is frowned upon. I explained that if you are naturally an introvert, you could have a hard time, so there really needed to be some sort of allowance for the fact that ALL people (especially introverts) need to have some time to reflect on their own.

Interesting....verrrry interesting

Well I've looked at both sides, I was beyond an Introvert at one time in fact I was nearly silent until I was in College. Then I made a 180 degree turn.

I am not talk for talk sake, if I am sitting next to someone I interact a little if they are interesting I continue, but I can be silent. Idle chat can be a waste of time. Rr

Still puzzled by the articles…
1. No one is a complete introvert or a complete extrovert. Why pit one type of travellers against the other? Don't all adults have enough social skills to start a conversation and to cut short an unwanted one?
2. People don't travel in order to seek company. Otherwise, instead of travelling, one would join a cruise.
3. Re those "tips", there are many reasons for hiring a guide, but to hire a guide in order to avoid interaction with locals? …

An interesting concept...I guess you could say Judith and I are introverted as we do enjoy our solitude when we travel.

With that being said, our jobs have us interacting with people all day long and when it comes time to relax, the burden of having to interact is now lifted. Not to say, we don't enjoy a conversation with someone here and there or meeting interesting people along the way, it's our choice to interact or not, most times it's done to enhance an existing experience.

When in Italy and we go out for dinner, I truly enjoy hearing the pleasant conversation in Italian around us. It tells me, I should be in for a good meal as it's local cuisine and these are regular people like my wife and I would be back in the States. An occasional American voice is not bad but when in Rome a year ago, I really didn't enjoy it when every conversation in the restaurant was English.

We love hanging out in a town and just being 'one of the locals' for a day. I don't care how they do it back home.. I'm here!! I want to do it like they do HERE! And, yes, I struggle to learn as much of the language of any country I visit. I find it enriching and so does Judith.

We'd love to travel with friends but we can't think of anyone in our social group who we'd like to travel with for an extended time without wanting to kill them in about 3-4 days. We don't 'plan' days as we do what the spirit takes us to that day. We plan time in a location...5-7 days and explore. To do what? Don't know.. ask me in the morning .

So okay, ... my name is Doug and I'm an introvert!

Good points, Americana!

I totally agree with you on #1 and #2. ESPECIALLY #2!

I read #3 as a way for us "shy people," as Garrison Keillor would call us, to nudge ourselves into interesting conversation that goes beyond small talk with a local, not a way to avoid it. Note this isn't suggesting traveling with a tour group but locating a local guide through the local tourist office. I've never done it, but I can see that it might be a really good idea.

I suppose it depends on how you define Introvert. I can tell you an example of how just talking to the right person can be fun. when taking the hydrofoil from Trapani to Marretimo I asked the deckhand if there was an upper deck. I was taken up to the captains chair and got to sit in his seat and get a great view of the harbor.

If I had just sat back and been quiet I would have missed that, or never even thought to ask if I was really introverted (IN the sense I used to be where I could go all day with a few sentences)

I think I fall into the extrovert category:

I enjoy the interaction with locals or other tourists and almost always strike up a conversation when waiting in some line or enjoying an alfresco wine or checking out an especially compelling piece of art or artifact or, or, or;

I am prone to making "wise-ass" comments when in a group, such as a day tour (meant as jokes, but sometimes misconstrued);

I am also prone to spending time at the bar, which leads to a lot of social interaction with the bar staff and other patrons local or otherwise;

I usually interact with the taxi driver or bus driver in some foolish way, just to be friendly;

Etc, etc..

A great article. Thank you for posting it. My husband and I are very friendly, but are also very introverted. We have learned over the years, that making friends with people too fast can cause problems for us. After a few hours or a day, those people latch on and by then, you have figured out that they are not people you want to hang out with.

When flying alone, I always stick my nose in a book, to avoid someone starting a conversation that never ends. The one cruise we took many years ago was a nightmare and we said, "Never Again."

It's nice to know that there are many like us out there. We're certainly not rude, but do keep our distance.

Sharon J

I would consider me and husband to be quite introverted. We rarely strike up conversations with other travelers. On the rare occassion that we have, we've generally had good experiences (so far).

What I seem to gravitate to is striking up conversations and friendships with people who work in the places we visit -- for instance, shopkeepers, restauranteurs, waiters, etc. We've made great friends, gotten special treatment (e.g., free food/drink, hooked up with other local merchants, set up with winemakers or olive oil producers for special and free tastings, etc.) and have been invited into their homes for dinner more than once. I've learned a lot about the local and national culture from these individuals I would not trade these experiences for anything.

quote:

Originally posted by Jeff H:
I think I fall into the extrovert category:

I enjoy the interaction with locals or other tourists and almost always strike up a conversation when waiting in some line or enjoying an alfresco wine or checking out an especially compelling piece of art or artifact or, or, or;

I am prone to making "wise-ass" comments when in a group, such as a day tour (meant as jokes, but sometimes misconstrued);

I am also prone to spending time at the bar, which leads to a lot of social interaction with the bar staff and other patrons local or otherwise;

I usually interact with the taxi driver or bus driver in some foolish way, just to be friendly;

Etc, etc..

OMG, you are SO my husband...especially the bit about spending time AT the bar, he loves to interact with the bartender in any country and usually its the locals hanging there so its inevitable that you end up having all sorts of conversations with them all.

When we were in Rome we stayed on Via Guila and my husband would go for walks early in the morning and frequent a cafe bar at the end of the street. After about three days I went in there with him and he was welcomed like a family member, some little old italian man who was about 5 foot nothing came and gave him a hug around the waist! It was hysterical! Same thing happend in Paris!

lesfaye,

It even worked in China recently, where the bar staff treated me as a "regular" after three or four nights. One of the byproducts of getting to know the local staff and local patrons is occasionally one can get a little something extra in the form of service, a freebie, a special request or just good local information.

And of course many folks I've run into over the years are curious about America, so I can return the favor to them - I've had such interesting questions as, "Do you know anyone in the Mafia?" to "Have you met Brad Pitt?" But most have to do with the many issues and questions discussed on this site from those who intend to visit.

Yes, Jeff, my husband is British and I am American and we live in the states so they always say "so you are from London" and he says yes but he lives in America and that always gets a coversation started. Especially with the older people...they want to know what the difference are and what does he like about living in America...

I lived a year in England (in a Reading hotel) and made many great friends with whom I still stay in contact. I'm of English descent myself, so felt right at home...then again, due to my nature, I've been "at home" almost everywhere I've traveled: the one exception being Taipei, but I wasn't there very long on any one occasion and didn't get much opportunity to schmooze.

the concept of an introverted traveler--interesting. for me, it depends. i'm a location specific kind of gal. certain cities just bring out the extrovert in me. thailand, hong kong, all around south east asia. i was so curious about the people and the culture and the food. i could talk about food for hours.

but paris, i just seemed to take everything in, not wanting to talk to anyone, not even my boyfriend who was traveling with me.

As a introvert, I want to respond to the comments about cruises. I've found cruises to be a good kind of trip for me. I go with friends or family members that I enjoy being with, but unlike other vacation trips, we don't have to be together all the time. I can find a quiet spot on the side deck to read, or wander around by myself- then we all get back together for dinner. I've never felt any pressure to socialize with people I don't know on the cruise.

The most extroverted person I know, who chats with everyone when we travel whether she can speak the language or not, and is on her cell phone constantly, often makes claims to "needing time to myself" or "hating the telephone". I think she thinks it makes her seem more thoughtful or something. It's clear to me that being extroverted has given her many advantages in life, so it's odd that she wants so desperately to disavow it.

We are also a somewhat introverted couple and can really relate to the article. It's good to know that we are not alone (pun intended). Although we have always been somewhat shy, it seems that the older we get the more we enjoy travelling only as a couple. We enjoy making small talk occasionally with fellow travellers or locals, but when travelling with a group of people it's just too hard to decide on the whens, wheres, and hows of enjoying the trip. Sometimes it's difficult for just the two of us to agree!

I agree that a cruise is a good way to share travel. We have done one with just our married son and wife, as well as fourteen family members. Rule was we meet for dinner - other than that,to each his own.

This is a great topic, and very interesting to read everyone's opinions.

I am an introvert and my hubby tends to be more extroverted, although he avoids meaningless chatter, so we're well suited to travel together. While traveling I can be open and engaging if I'm sincerely interested in getting to know someone or in hearing about their experiences. For example, we recently stayed in a B&B in Salem, Mass., and had some great breakfast table conversations with the proprietor and some of the guests, two of whom were from London, one from Vienna, and two American couples. I've lived in London and my husband loves that city, so we were especially interested in hearing what the British women made of the sights they'd seen in the Boston area, and we were able to give the woman from Vienna some travel tips for Maine, where she was headed and from where we'd just come, and share with her our admiration for her home city. In Paris last summer I had a long conversation with the woman who came weekly to clean our apartment; she was from Portugal and gave me some language learning advice, as well as her take on the US, which she had recently visited. So for me, as a natural introvert, it really depends on the situation and the company.