This will be our first time travelling with another couple in Italy. Do restaurants ever split the bill or is that a no-no?

"Conti separati, per piacere."

I've never understood why some restaurants refuse to split the check. Rather than doing 3 checks for one table, would they be happier doing 3 checks at 3 tables?
When they refuse to split, I'm always tempted to say, OK everybody, let's all sit at separate tables and see how they like it.
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Whether dining in a group of two or twenty, in a decade of eating-out in Italy I have never (and I mean never) been at a table where the server was asked to split the check. It's probably best to realize that when you do ask, it's something fairly exceptional (unless it's fundamentally a tourist place).

Of course for business purposes receipts are sometimes required, but in any case, it's probably better for the digestion if you try not to have it in for the folks who are serving you.

Italians pay "alla romana". This means that you get the comprehensive check and divide the total for the number of people who were at the table Fior istnance, if the comprehensive check is 98 euro, the easiest is to contribute each 25 euro and leave the 2 euro extra as tip. As an alternative, especially in not too upscale places, you can walk to the counter, as it's often done, and just pay individually, each one pays for what he or she had. Notice that drinks are always served in bottles to be shared, this means that you can each pay for what you ate, but will have to find a way to split the drinks' check anyhow.

Patrick,
at times, when restaurant is packed, and all are very busy, it is not fair to ask the waiter to remember and divide the lunch.
Much better to go at the cash register and list what you have had.
It will be always a problem for wines and beverages, anyway.

Do as Alice say, divide in two, this is how we do.

Or, even better, you pay today, I pay tomorrow...or again, one pay and you deal with it with the bill and all later, why bother the waiter with that?

Follow the advice of the Italians on this board and go "alla Romana". If you really must have two, three or six separate checks be prepared for some dirty looks from busy waiters.

quote:

Originally posted by Mary Jane:
If you really must have two, three or six separate checks be prepared for some dirty looks from busy waiters.

Perhaps if we hand them 5 Euros as we ask for special treatment! (of course we'd need to split that too...each person kicks in a 1 Euro tip)

In most places they will do anything you ask...like bring you an extra spoon and plate to split a dessert...anything, but just ask them to split a check and it flies all over them for some reason. It only amounts to writing each family's order on a separate sheet of paper, but for some reason it's a big problem, even here in America where it's common to ask for a split check.

It seems like "alla romana" is a good idea but could get complicated when some in the group have children eating smaller, cheaper portions that the adults.

Oh well, this too shall be overcome.
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quote:

Or, even better, you pay today, I pay tomorrow...or again, one pay and you deal with it with the bill and all later, why bother the waiter with that?

That's what we always do on our trips, keep a running tab and evened it out in the end. Usually there's never more than a few dollars difference. Even when we traveled with friends and we had two kids to their one - they were gracious about just doing even splits which made things easy.

In my circles, it has been common to get the restaurant to split the bill evenly between two credit cards. If one party feels that they really owe more, they can give some cash to the other or buy a round of drinks or gelato later.

quote:

Originally posted by Patrick, Arkansas:
It seems like "alla romana" is a good idea but could get complicated when some in the group have children eating smaller, cheaper portions that the adults.

Children are counted for as 1/2 an adult. For a group of 4 adults + 1 child, the check gets split in 9: adults pay 2/9 each, child pays 1/9.

Also, the way Italian restaurants are managed makes it very hard to do split checks, and there is no reason to change this since Italians NEVER ask for a split check, unles for business reasons, in which case the issue is discussed BEFORE ORDERING, but most commonly if the case requires the people who want to split don't ask the waiter do do the math on his/her own, they walto to the counter and get the separate checks done there, each declaring what he or she had, and the cashier ticks the various items on the list as he goes. This works well enough and is so commonly done that we do not see any reason to change this way to manage the restaurant check paying issue. I mean, this is not like the Italian mail system, which is totally lousy. it's just something that gets done differently to the smae result, and since both systems work just as well, I don't see any reasons for an Italian restaurant to change its habits into new ones that are _NOT_ more efficient.

We have travelled several times with friends and with British cousins using a system the cousins recommended - and it makes life extremely simple for all concerned.

A "Kitty" is established, with each person contributing the same amount to a designated "banker" (if you have children you could factor in a percentage for them). Then the "banker" pays for all joint meals. No fuss, no muss. And for those cases where one couple are not wine drinkers, for example, those who are drinking pay in an additional amount for their share of the bottle or carafe.

Judy

There are a lot of good suggestions here for keeping track of "who owes what", or ways that 2 couples can divide the check without involving the waiter, or actually getting separate checks. Here we usually just ask to have 2 credit cards run, but that is our custom and we really can't expect the world to follow suit.

It seems counter productive to me to criticize how it is done anyplace but "home". As the traveler, it falls to you to be the "guest" in any country and accomodate yourself to their customs. Such is the charm of travel.

My 2 cents,

There’s a sort of ‘community’ feeling when sitting at the table to enjoy a good meal in a foreign country, with people you like and in a relaxed mood that somehow clashes with the whole algebra required to split the bill.
Unless your friends always go for caviar and you systematically limit yourself to bruschetta and tap water, I just would let it go, Kathy.

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: Amy,

I completely agree with Lele's sentiment. I believe that it is important to follow the custom of the country where you are visiting. If it is not customary to get seperate checks why do it? Likewise with ordering tap water, etc. Is it so difficult to change one's ways for a few weeks? To me it seems like part of being a good traveler and gentle guest in someone else's homeland. As far as dividing up the bill goes, I suppose that would be up to how the traveling partners feel. I prefer just to divide the bill equally. So what if one party had an extra glass of wine. I am much happier not paying attention to the cost of what every one else at table has ordered. I am not wealthy, but it always seems much more relaxed and friendly just to share the cost. If I realized that I spent an inordinate amount more than my companions I would certainly offer to kick in some more. i think most of my friends would do the same.

We've found in Sorrento, Positano, and Capri that handing them two credit cards works very well. Of course, these are all tourist areas, and we've done the tourist thing both ways--split the check and tipped. So the little bit of extra effort, which the waiters seem entirely accustomed to, is compensated for with the equally foreign concept of a nice tip.

Tomorrow, we're headed for Tuscany, where we expect to visit some very small towns, which we hope aren't as touristy, and we'll do it the Italian way.

quote:

Originally posted by Lele:
Unless your friends always go for caviar and you systematically limit yourself to bruschetta and tap water, I just would let it go, Kathy.

That attitude is a good one in most cases, as long as people know each other well enough to judge things (some people are more obsessed/hung up with money and absolute fairness than others, and that can cause problems).

But many a good relationship has broken up over people "just letting it go", because over time resentment builds up.

I've traveled a lot with friends, and there are a few who, though well liked, seem to consistently take advantage of others at meal time. In cases like that, where everything is fine otherwise, I think it's dangerous to a friendship (or marriage) to "just let it go". Those are cases where, slow travel or not, it's best to make conto-paying ground rules in advance and stick to them.

If I may interrupt the conversation--Let's please keep the discussion centered on Kathy's question, which was simply to ask people's experience with splitting a restaurant bill in Italy.

I think Kathy's question is completely legitimate: there will be two couples travelling together for an unspecified period of time. So, if I understand it correctly, she is not dealing with a situation where two couples decide to meet and go out for a dinner or lunch. They will have meals together over a period of time, lunch, dinners, etc., and here it starts making a difference if one, like my wife, eats just salads or one main course and never has wine, while others go through the full set of course and a bottle of wine.

I think the best approach here is to deal openly with the situation and indeed arrange an equitable way of splitting the bills before the trip. I am sure there are many ways in which this can done to the satisfaction of all.

On the matter of asking waiters to split cheques, I think if things are cut and dry, for example the couples will not share wine or mineral water, this can always be done, even if here and there a waiter will be a bit unhappy.

And let's remember that the "Slow Travel way" is:

"- We will express our opinions, but will always respect the opinions of others.
- We will keep a good sense of humor.
- We will be kind."

I don't have a specific answer to your question (tho I do have my opinion about the hows and whys of the needs for such), but as Amy suggests, let me tell you my suggestion: Ask for what you want (in the proper language already suggested). There is the 'when in Rome' idea, but as an American with my own strange habits living here for 5 years, there is not one thing I can ask that makes the world stop spinning. The Italians are as adaptable as I; they can fashion a take-away from bits of aluminum foil, they can serve me a liter of coffee in the mornings and they can even put ice in a glass of milk after 3p.m. if that's what you want (no, not me, just an example!).

Thank you all for your thoughts on this. I sensed that it was probably not the most acceptable thing to do. I am sure we will be fine with taking turns or whatever. My husband and I do drink wine and the others do not, which was the reason for my question.

quote:

Originally posted by Kathy G.:
My husband and I do drink wine and the others do not, which was the reason for my question.

Don't worry, you'll be surprised how often wine and non-wine drinks will cost about the same!