Hello Everyone,

I have been a regular reader of this site for a while but didnt have much of my own story to participate. Until now, I'm VERY CONFUSED and DESPERATELY need your advice. Here is my story:

Im a single mother with 2 children engaged to an Italian man. We are planning to get married early next year...in Italy. Im planning to move
to Italy this summer to get settled, setup our house, put the kids in school and plan our wedding.Of course all these variables are changeable, depending on Visa. From reading so many posts and information about the types of Visa....Im worried! I've done my research and read everything and anything about moving/living in Italy. The more I read....the more confused and worry I get. My question is ...which is the best and easiest Visa for me and my children? I was thinking the Long Stay, which will buy me a little more time to get adjusted to be in Italy. I dont need to work, I have monthly income, health plan and housing will be provided for me. Is this the best way to go?

Another issue is the timing, I know that for the Long Stay Visa I have to apply in person within 90 days of departure date. Currently, Im in Japan and can only apply through the San Francisco branch, which I'll be in the middle of June. Will I have enough time to have my VISA approved by mid Aug?

My first choice is to get the Long Stay but if this proof to be too stressful and right now I dont need the extra stress. I might have to seek another option. What if I go to Italy as tourist with my children then... get married within the 3 months? Is this legal? Will I have to go back to US to apply for FAMILY REASON Visa and reenter back to Italy? Please any advice you can spare will be much appreciated.

When I decided to move to Italy, I applied for a visa at the consulate in San Francisco where I lived. I asked for a one-year visa, which I eventually received. Before that, there were forms to complete, and I had to write an essay about what exactly I would be doing in Italy; I said 'making watercolors.' I had to provide proof of my U.S. income and assets to show that I wouldn't be living off the Italian economy. I think I needed to show a birth certificate. Health insurance didn't seem to be an issue.

The end of the process involves the consulate taking your U.S. passport and holding it until the paperwork is approved in Rome. This made me very nervous. They also wanted to see my airline ticket, showing the date of my departure.

I got my passport back about a week later, with the visa pasted in the back. I was told that I needed to go to a 'stato' office in my Italy locale and apply for a 'Permesso di Soggiorno' within, I think, 30 days, showing my rental agreement with address. After six months, I was supposed to apply for 'residenzia' status. None of this happened once my landlord told me that if I did it, he would be blown, and have to pay taxes on the rental income, thereby raising my rent. 'Under the table' is all too common in Italy as it turns out, which is one reason Italians like to rent to foreigners, who are expected to come and go and not squat permanently in apartments and houses, causing trouble and threatening landlords.

I conveniently forgot about the whole issue for the next year. Living in Sorrento, a place pretty chock-full of foreign visitors, I just sort of melted in. I went to the U.S. and back, getting my passport stamped in and out numerous times. No questions, no hassle, even after my visa expired.

The upshot was that for five years, and in four different unreported apartments, I lived peacefully in Italy with no documentation whatsoever. I never had anything in my name: no phone line, utility, etc, although I went to the post office to pay the bills. I couldn't own a car in my name (didn't want one anyway), nor apply for Italian health insurance. You also can't have an Italian bank account that handles both dollars and euros without residenzia status.

Although I wanted to be 'official' in Italy, I always found that the circumstances of real life there made it unwise. I also learned that there are thousands of Americans who have lived for decades in Italy with no official status, especially in Rome.

It seems that getting married to an Italian citizen, eventually putting children in public schools would put you in a different status. You may have to have paperwork completed at the Consulate showing that you, a U.S. citizen, intend to marry in Italy, etc. My son and his American fiancee had to do a lot of work before they could come over to Sorrento and get hitched at the mayor's office. Best of luck!

Hi Allithai:

We applied in person at the San Francisco Italian Consulate for the Long Stay/Extended Stay Visa on January 28. On January 31, the fedex man knocked on our door in Seattle and delivered our Visas! It was then that I realized we were really going to live in Italy.

Here's a couple takeways from our experience:
1. Per the woman at the consulate, once she approved us for the Visas, it would take 7-10 days to process and mail to us. We didn't want to wait for snail mail and paid the extra fee for rush mail.
2. Days before we left for San Francisco, I called the consulate to ask them if the line would be long. I was told, given the time of year, there shouldn't be many people applying. (Not sure what the line would look like in June). Also, they only give out Visas between 1-3:30. We were waiting outside the door at 1:00 with 7 other folks.
3. You need a FBI Certificate of Good Conduct, which takes 4-6 weeks to get. Once you get your certificate, you have 90 days to get your Visa.
4. Cristina's website http://cristinasweb.com/ is an incredible resource! We couldn't have completed this chapter in our journey without that site (and Slowtalk).

I hope this helps! Good luck.

Hi Allithai,

If you go to my site as Jill suggested you will find her helpful hints on getting the Extended Stay Visa which would also work for other visas as well. Personally, I would request the long stay but explain that you will be getting married and if need be have your fiance write a letter explaining his as well. You could then get a visa for the time it takes for the wedding (I think mine was for 6 months) and then you can just go to the questura and just change your permesso di soggiorno to one for family reasons. I hope this helps. Keep us up to date on your quest so that we may help more if need be. Good luck.

Nancy, yes there are many Americans who have decided to be illegal aliens here and never get caught. I highly warn against it. Times have changed due to terrorism and while they are not out looking for American illegals, they don't like the fact that many Americans know this and figure that they can get away with it. And I do personally know someone, an American, who was deported. Had been working and got caught in a normal drive by document check. Had a cop who was in a bad mood and was not going to let it fall through the cracks.

Living illegally also puts you at risk for getting taken when it comes to rents and work as well as you have no leg to stand on if anything goes wrong.

Cristina, I by no means advocate living in Italy without documentation, especially in these suspicious times. However, please note that I did not have a job there, nor have children in public school. I used my own good old US dollars to live, as in "perpetual tourist." My passport was examined many times at entry/departure points; it's full of little arrows that signify "Malpensa In/Malpensa Out." No one was ever remotely interested in how long my "visits" in Italy were.

Thankyou so much everyone for your useful advice. I still can't believe that Jill got her Visa back in 3 days...that's amazing! They must really like you over the Italian Embassy.

Yes, I have been reading a lot of Cristinasweb it is very useful. I cant wait to use her list to buy appliances. Thank you Crisitina! Well, I think my first step is to get the FBI background check then start gathering all the paper work together. I am a little nervous about giving them my passport. As I mention before, I will go to Italy in June by myself to get things set up for the kids. Then I'll be back in Aug to pick them up. I dont know how Im supposed to leave the country without my passport....hummmm Well, I hope I get lucky and have my Visa approved in 3 days. My fingers are double crossed. I'll be back to ask you guys for more advice.

By the way, for those who are living in and around Milan and have school age children. How many of you're sending your children to the International School of Milan or American school of Milan. I would love to hear your opinion. Thanks!